What Goes Around, Comes Around
by Agent Henry
Summary: It started with a quick, sharp knock on the door. It ended with a couple of angry cousins banging loudly against a wall.


**For: **OCDdegrassi's Anti-Valentine's Day and Disaster Date competitions.

**pairing: **Lily Potter/Lorcan Scamander.

**A/N: **Wow. My first time writing these as an actual pairing... Kinda. I hope you enjoy, despite the random strangeness (well, I think it's random strangeness :P). Reviews are greatly appreciated.

* * *

It started with a quick, sharp knock on the door.

Lily Potter pulled it open slowly, dreading what could be on the other side. She sighed; she had not being wrong with her assumption. She didn't know whether or not to be disappointed; she had hoped she'd been wrong and it was just a kid playing a joke or the postman delivering the shoes she'd ordered last week.

But, no. There on the floor, in front of her door, was a huge bouquet of red roses. Lily picked them up unwillingly, tempted to just stand on them, and read the card.

**Happy Valentine's Day, love your secret admirer. **

Lily rolled her eyes at the cliché; why couldn't the guy just leave her alone? It had started a couple of weeks after last year's Valentine's Day and, although it died down during the months, it was always at its worst during the holidays. To say Lily had been dreading this day (more than usual) was a vast understatement; she loathed it.

Lily slammed the door shut and threw the flowers on the kitchen table; she didn't want them in water, she hoped they'd die quickly, not that she cared; she was going to throw them away later anyway. Or maybe she'd give them to her mum... Or her dad to give to her mum (she would not be surprised if he had forgotten).

Lily finished getting ready, grabbed her coat and her keys and made her way out, the roses all but forgotten. She walked down the street, sidestepping young (and old) love-struck couples, and cringed at their public displays of affections.

Valentine's Day; the one day that making a fool of yourself in public all for romance was acceptable. God, she wished it was over.

xXx

"No."

Lily pushed passed her brother and continued checklisting each item in the boxes, making sure that everything had been brought to her in the condition they had been in when she had purchased them. Lily loved that she had her own business finding and selling antiques, but it was long task cataloging them all. And for that, she really wished her brother would leave. Not that she'd tell him that.

Albus waited until Lily had put the obviously old and, therefore, expensive vase down before grabbing her arm and spinning her around so she faced him. "You promised, Lily. One date, to get back out there, so I stop bothering you."

"But did you have to choose today?" She whined.

Albus shrugged, a most innocent expression on his face. "He doesn't own his own business like you do. It was the only day he had free." But Lily knew him too well and saw right through it, though she tried her best not to glare and force the truth out of him. If she was being honest, she didn't care what his reasons were; it was the fact that he felt the need to lie that got to her. Obviously there was something wrong about this guy.

Lily schooled her features, hoping she looked relaxed. "The only reason for it being today is because it had to be?" Albus nodded, an almost twinkle in his bright green eyes. This time she knew he was telling the truth; today seemed important to her brother. "Okay. What time?"

"Seven thirty, Jaime's." Albus called to her as he headed for the door, waving. Lily pulled a face and groaned, not even trying to hide her displeasure, but waved back. She hated Jaime's. It wasn't the food, no the food was delicious, it was the restaurant itself. It was one of _those_ places; expensive, posh, only the best for London's rich and famous. You needed a reservation to get in, there was actually a waiting list.

Was this why today was important? Just how long had Albus been planning this blind date? And who the hell was this guy?

Lily chastised herself for wondering that; it was a blind date, she wasn't meant to know.

She heard the bell ring and looked up to see Albus pop his head back in. "Forget something?"

Albus shook his head. "I was just wondering... Have you spoken to either of the Scamander twins lately? Lysander... Or Lorcan, maybe?"

Lily's eyes did narrow when Albus' tone dropped slightly at Lorcan's name. "No, why?"

"No reason." He was gone again before she had a chance to say anything.

Lily dropped her checklist onto the counter, by the till, and buried her head in her hands. "I have a really bad feeling about this."

xXx

Lily narrowed her eyes at her cousin, Rose, through the full length mirror of her bedroom and ran her hands down her dress, making sure she was ready. Rose clapped her hands together when she turned around, causing Lily to roll her eyes, and stood up.

"You look gorgeous, Lils," Rose gushed. "I knew that dress would be perfect. He is one lucky guy."

"I don't know about this," Lily told her.

"Nonsense," Rose said with a wave of her hand.

"Do you even know this guy?"

Rose laughed softly; looking at her like it was obvious. "Of course I do; did Al not tell you? He told you, I told him, together we set you up." Lily scoffed; she should have known Rose would be involved. "You should get going, you're going to be late."

Lily contemplated changing her mind and staying home or pretending she was going then make a run for it, then decided against it; she had know doubt they would know, they always seemed to know. It wasn't worth the trouble, she'd rather endure the date.

"Remind what it is I have to look out for," Lily said.

"Nothing," Rose answered. "You're both asking for a reservation under the name 'Potter'. They'll take you to your table. Now go."

"One more thing," Lily promised. "Is it the secret admirer I've had for the past year that you always say I should meet? I don't need a name, just a yes or no."

"...Yes."

Lily really wished she had said no.

Rose took her arm and led her out of the apartment. "You'll have a great time. This is perfect, especially after last year. _He_ was a jerk. This guy is perfect for you."

Rose talked about how he was perfect until they had found a suitable place for them to apparate to their respective places. "Since you and Al are working together on this, do you know why he wanted to know if I had spoken to Lorcan Scamander yet?"

"...No."

Lily pouted slightly. "Oh. I've already told him countless times that Lorcan is not my type and we're just not compatible together, but he never listens. I mean, he's, what, twenty three and I'm... Older. Even without the age difference, I don't think we even have a single thing in common. Al still brings him up, though. As long as it's not him, I think I can get through tonight." She forced a smile at her cousin, who laughed, almost awkwardly. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck."

And she left before Lily could decipher the strange look she had been given.

xXx

Lily walked into the restaurant only a few minutes late and stopped in front of the waiter. She hoped he was also running late, wanting time to prepare. "Reservation under 'Potter'," she said softly.

He didn't check the book, he just pointed her in the direction to follow and showed her the way. She asked him a question that would either confirm or deny her suspicions. "Is my... Date already here?"

"Yes."

Lily glanced around, trying to figure out who he could be, and stopped in her tracks, frozen. She thanked whoever it was up there who had taken mercy on her by not allowing him to see her and took hold of the waiter's arm, stopping him too. Lily pointed back behind them. "I'm so sorry, but can I use your phone first?"

He looked annoyed, not that she blamed him (she was sure she looked the same way), but nodded and led her back to the entrance. He pointed to the phone on the wall at the side and left her to it. "I'll be over here when you're ready."

"Oh, you don't have to, if you have other people to see to, I can find my way to my table," Lily assured. He thanked her and she dialled the number angrily. Turning around, Lily looked over and could just see her date twirl his empty wine glass in his hands, waiting for her. She wondered if he knew who it was he was waiting for. She assumed yes, considering Rose had revealed him as her secret admirer.

That thought only annoyed her more when he answered.

"Hello?"

"You set me up with Lorcan Scamander?" Lily growled down the phone.

Albus chuckled nervously. "Just give him a chance, Lily. Have a nice Valentines with him."

"Al -"

Albus cut her off. "I have to go. Enjoy your date."

Lily slammed phone down, apologized when the waiter gave her a funny look and made her way over slowly. Lorcan was looking down at the table, barely noticing her presence. She coughed, making him look up. Lily looked confused when his blue eyes seemed to fall from his sockets; it was as though he hadn't been expecting it to be her. Lorcan opened his mouth to speak, but Lily held up a hand for him to keep quiet and sat down.

"Okay, Lorcan," Lily flicked her hair behind her shoulders and folded her arms on the table. "Just know that this is the first and last date you are ever going to get out of me. After this, no more flowers, no more chocolates, no more cards. No more anything, do you understand? I'm not interested."

Lorcan held up his hands. "Whoa, I have absolutely no idea what the hell you're talking about. I've never sent you flowers or chocolates or anything. I swear. I didn't even know it was you I was meeting. Rose told me she was setting me with a friend."

Lily only looked more confused. "You didn't send those roses this morning?" He shook his head, no. "You've not been the secret admirer? You didn't know it was me coming? Really?"

"No!" Lorcan scoffed. "When have I ever shown the slightest bit of interest in you?"

"Hey! What the hell is wrong with me?" Lily asked, doing her best to keep her voice down and not attract attention to herself as she took offense to that.

"Nothing," Lorcan reassured, running his hands through his dark hair. "I'm just pointing out that we have never shown any interest in each other before. Although, Rose has been talking about you an awful lot, especially recently."

"The same with Albus talking about you," Lily revealed. "Those manipulative gits. And they know I hate this place."

Lorcan removed his napkin from his knee and put it back on the table. "Yeah, and they know my idea of a perfect date is beer, pizza and sport," he said, standing up. "Now, I don't know about you, but I think it's time I left. I've had enough revelations for tonight and I have revenge to plan."

"It's the best idea I've heard today," Lily agreed, rising from her seat.

"Good bye, Lily." Lorcan left, giving her an awkward pat on her shoulder, and Lily followed not long after, apologizing to the waiter out of politeness.

Once outside, Lily apparated to her building and made her way to her apartment. Once inside, she kicked her shoes off, leaned against the door and checked her watch.

"Lily Potter, I believe tonight holds the records for the shortest and the worst date ever." She made her way to her room. "To say tonight was a disaster is the understatement of the century."

Lily changed into her pyjamas and crawled straight into bed, not caring that it was still early. At least Lorcan had been right about something (besides leaving); revenge was necessary.

xXx

It was a week after their disaster of a date that they finally carried out their revenge. Lily had called upon Lorcan the next day, offering they work together considering their so-called-friends forced them into the situation. Lorcan had accepted and they had met at Lily's shop. Today their plan was going to happen.

Lily met Rose outside of the Leaky Cauldron and they made their way into Diagon Alley. "You could have at least continued the date, instead of just leaving," Rose moaned. "Do you know how hard it was to get that reservation?"

"We don't even like places like that, it would have been a disaster no matter what," Lily pointed out.

"We?" Rose asked, smirking, but she said nothing more.

"Shut up." Lily noticed Lorcan walking their way with Albus and turned to her left. "Hey, what do you think this place is?"

Rose turned too. It looked like an alley of some kind, but it had never been there before, Rose was sure. Or had she just never noticed? "I have no idea." She stepped inside. "I wonder where it leads."

"Rose, are you sure that's wise?"

She continued to walk through. "Are you coming?"

"In a minute," Lily called. "I dropped something." She turned and hid before Albus could see her. From her hiding place, she watched Lorcan point it out. She knew Albus would never willingly go inside (walking into potential danger had not been a trait their father had passed down to him) and she prayed Lorcan knew what he was doing. She covered her laugh when she realized that all along his big secret plan had been to just push him inside. Lily watched the wall close over and walked back over, laughing, and leant against it, next to the younger man.

"Told ya," he grinned. "How long before they realize what actually happened?"

"Not long," Lily answered quickly. And she was right.

"Oh, come on, guys!" Rose shouted. "Let us out."

"We get it, we deserve it," Albus yelled to them. "We'll never set you up or send you gifts thinking it's someone else again!"

"Suffer a while longer!" Lorcan told them, before turning to Lily. "How long before we let them out?"

Lily shrugged. "We'll give them an hour, maybe two, then I'll call for my dad. That should be enough time."

"I heard that," Albus yelled. "I'm gonna get you for this. Both of you!"

"Look forward to it!" Lily dug into her pockets, ignoring their protests. "You said your perfect date was beer, pizza and sport, yes?"

"Yeah," Lorcan said slowly.

"It's not a date, it's a thank you," Lily assured, pulling out a pair of tickets. "You and me, Quidditch in the Minster's box complete with drinks, thanks to Dad, pizza and more drinks afterwards." Lorcan took a ticket slowly, as if making sure it was real. "It could be fun."

"Okay," Lorcan answered, smiling. "I accept your non-date. Since it's not a date, I'll meet you at the stadium."

"Perfect," Lily beamed.

They walked away, leaving her brother and cousin behind the wall. She wouldn't leave them there, not even for an hour. She would call her dad as soon as they were far enough away that they couldn't hear. They didn't need to know that she had no intention of leaving them; they had to pay after all.

Valentine's Day sucked as usual. Their date was very much the disaster she figured it would be. But the days after? Well, Lorcan was so bad after all.

But they didn't need to know that either.


End file.
